HOLY SHIT....CROTCH CRICKETS

Yikes, look at these little bastards. And you can get them from sexual contact. I mean sure, there are far worse things transmitted through humping, but these ones are little crabs that establish colonies in your southern region. I have never had pubic lice for all of those who are wondering, so this little blog is not going to reveal any personal secrets about an infestation of willy bugs. I just got to thinking about them when I was again resourcing my own paranoia of all things that go on in a public washroom. I did a bit of research and found that it is only unlikely that you can get crabs from a toilet seat, not impossible which is what I had hoped for. They can't live for very long away from the warmth of a humans crotch.
*heaving*
*wiping mouth*
I don't often think about these little beasts when I am occupied with other concerns in a public washroom but these little ladies and fellas should definitely be added to the list. Look at it in this picture, it looks like a kids gummy candy that you'd buy to gross out the girls in your grade 2 class, only it's not. And you'll know you've got them, cause it's itchy, and you can see them or their eggs. It's like an alien colony forming in the most inopportune area I can personally think of. Unlike most aliens I know public lice survive from eating human blood.
*GULP*
This means that they bite. Down there.
Tiny little crab looking insects that want to bite on penis and eat the blood they are able to get out of it. Ah hah, no thank you sir, I will continue to hover over the toilet bowl, and I will be damn careful who I decide to share bed linens with. Above and beyond that I am doing a full on chop stick investigation of the pubic regions before I get jiggy again.
I was thinking I'd just stick my wiener in the freezer or have a nice long bath and drown the little bastards if ever I were to acquire a lice farm of my own, but through research (thank god for google) I know this will not work. Neither does shaving the entire area. You will need to go to the doctor and get some cream to cut the little shits lives short, and ruin their eggs (by the way if a public lice lives on your goodies for a month it will be able to lay upwards of 50 eggs).
The burning question......Why can't pubic lice be trusted?
Well, they want to bite your junk and drink blood from it, I'd say that's worse than sharks man.